Why Open Conversations Are the Key to Changing Perspectives on Sex and Pornography

Billie Eilish recently sparked a vital discussion by candidly sharing her negative experiences with pornography. The singer described its impact on her early understanding of sex, saying, “I think porn is a disgrace… It destroyed my brain.” Her frustrations highlight broader societal issues, including the lack of open conversations about sex in real life.

While Eilish’s criticism points to the harm caused by mainstream, male-centric pornography, it’s crucial to recognise that not all porn is the same. The current landscape includes diverse, innovative work by female, queer, and non-binary creators. However, these voices are often overshadowed by dominant platforms like Pornhub, controlled by conglomerates such as MindGeek.

The real issue, however, extends beyond pornography itself. Society’s reluctance to discuss sex openly leaves young people to rely on porn as their primary source of information, often to their detriment. Cindy Gallop, founder of MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP), argues for a new approach. MLNP, a user-generated platform promoting “real-world sex,” aims to provide an alternative perspective, celebrating consensual and authentic sexual experiences.

Gallop explains, “If porn is the Hollywood movie, MLNP is the documentary.” Designed with rigorous curation, the platform ensures that every submission is reviewed to maintain safety and uphold positive sexual values. Despite its success in reshaping attitudes, MLNP faces barriers from traditional and digital advertising platforms, which reject its content under policies excluding “adult material.”

For younger audiences, the conversation must begin at home. Parents are encouraged to discuss sex and porn in age-appropriate ways, emphasising that what children may see online isn’t reflective of reality. By fostering an environment where children feel safe discussing these topics, parents can help mitigate the potentially harmful effects of early exposure to explicit content.

Eilish’s openness underscores the urgent need for education that prioritises real-life understanding over unrealistic media portrayals. By normalising honest discussions about sex, society can guide younger generations toward healthier attitudes and relationships. The challenge, however, lies in breaking down the stigma surrounding these conversations and supporting initiatives that aim to shift cultural narratives.